Is Self-Care Selfish?

At what point does your self-care journey become selfish?

Believe it or not, the query “is self-care selfish” is quite commonly searched on Google when you take a look at Google trends relating to the topic of self-care.

Understandably, there have probably been a number of people who have been told that them prioritising themselves is a selfish act. Or even worse, the mere fact that they may be indulging into the topic or concept of self-care means they are self-absorbed or selfish.

This is nonsense.

Self-care, its concept and the very recent movement around it, are a very-much needed remedy to an ongoing and long withstanding problem among women. I want to say Millennial women, being one myself, but I know that that is not the case. But just to explain my train of thought on that - I do believe that Millennial women have taken the brunt of cultural harm in Western society in the previous decades. Things have been a lot better during the later period of Gen X, but Millennial women were hit with a lot of harmful messaging growing up, I daresay, during the 90s and 2000s. There was a lot of conflicting information and values they were presented with that I believe contributed to a lot of poor and detrimental decisions for young women which have certainly left their marks in the form of trauma and broken self-worth and self-confidence. I look at women like Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato and more to see that they were not okay and certainly not alone in the damaging culture they were engulfed in. A culture that really did not value their intrinsic worth but rather their appearance, sexuality and more superficial measures of value. 

But self-care is needed by all, because in reality, a lot of women suffer no matter where they grow up or among whom or in which culture.

As a matter of fact, the number of women who have been molested at some point in their lives is a statistic that is very sad and real. A lot of women have grown up feeling worth less, often worth less than men in certain cultures, and have had to struggle with finding their place and value in the world.

Self-care is important because so many times women have been made to feel like their value is not in being and existing but in what they present to the world, whether it is their physical appearance, body or sexuality, or perhaps their ability to do housework or to be agreeable (a doormat oftentimes) and this has done little to empower women to achieve beyond what society thinks they are capable or should be capable of. 

Self-care is putting yourself and your mental health first.

Self-care is valuing yourself and giving time to yourself.

Self-care is healing yourself with kindness and compassion that you should have received from the world.

Self-care is not relying on anyone but yourself to have your back and give yourself what you should have gotten.

Self-care is NOT selfish, and even if it is, what is wrong with women putting themselves first in order to accomplish the above? 

You are valuable, no matter what anyone thinks or says about you.

You have a place in this world no matter what society or culture tells you.

You deserve to live, thrive, be successful and happy, just like any other human, or living creature.

You deserve respect, love,compassion, care and kindness irregardless of if people ever deprived you of those things.

Take your power into your own hands, because you are far from powerless!

You have everything you need to take care of yourself, nurture yourself, heal yourself, and grow yourself into a beautiful human being. 

Let’s get on that journey!