I never imagined my life like this. Sometimes I have felt so overwhelmed and hopeless, feeling so mentally trapped - and physically too - to the whims and desires of the infant who suddenly turned me and my world upside down.
How do you cope when you feel so unfit for the role? How do you get yourself together?
HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND TAKE YOURSELF BACK?
1. Have a schedule for yourself.
You need to make a routine that works for you, rather than waking up aimlessly and getting frustrated and triggered enough to throw off your mood from the get-go. Have an idea of what you want to do throughout the day, make sure to put in some time for yourself, whether it is for self-care or for a hobby you enjoy.
2. Put restrictions on things eating your time.
Constantly scrolling on your phone for stress-relief can grow frustrating and it wastes a lot of precious time too! Try to be more productive with your time and you will feel a lot better at the end of the day. For example, instead of scrolling through social media, catch up on a show or something that you enjoy. Get in a workout routine, however small, even 15 minutes. Try to do activities that are gonna make you feel good about yourself, instead of frustrated about your circumstances. You need to take control of your time.
3. Make daily goals/achievements, however small they may be.
As above, try to have some things in mind that you want to accomplish in the day. Ideally have this thought over in advance or at least when you wake up, but this has to be a conscious thought and idea. Then execute, however small, and everytime you achieve something that is part of the plan, you'll get a boost of dopamine which makes you feel great. And we want that!
4. TALK TO OTHERS! Catch up with friends or give someone a phonecall.
Don't be alone in your misery or stress!
Talk it out. Find people who will listen to you and offer advice. Sometimes it feels hard to connect with old friends as a new mom, especially if they don't have kids, but don't let that discourage you.
Find other moms to talk to if you need to. People are more open to listen and help than you may realise! Raising a child needs a village and people recognise that, so take the help and advice that you can get!
5. Have ONE GOAL and focus on that. Many things running through your head will make you crazy.
If possible, do have one goal that you want to accomplish, kind of like a New Year's Resolution type of goal or short-term/long-term goal. It could be to learn a language, finish a book, or work out 3 times a week. Have something that motivates you and puts your focus somewhere that won't allow you the mental energy to get negative and upset. Goals are a wonderful thing to occupy the mind and promote a positive mindset.
6. Give your child time. Your child deserves you - the best you. You are in this role now so do what you need to do for your child.
Most important of all, do not forget about your child. Your child needs your love and attention more than anything, as well as proper care and concern. As much as you may feel stressed and overwhelmed at times, never forget that love is what is going to make that child grow up healthy above everything else you provide for them. Give as much love as you can and try to be patient as much as possible. It is so important to also implement the above suggestions so that you don't feel like you are giving too much of yourself away with nothing else left over. Self-care is SO IMPORTANT so do not forget to also nourish yourself with things that make you happy and then give back that love and happiness to your child throughout each day. Remember what they teach you before a flight takes off? You have to put your own oxygen mask first, then your child's, for both of you to survive. Not the other way around. The same concept applies. Do what you can to keep the balance of love and time for yourself and love and time for your child. You got this! :)
We hope you enjoyed this article. Remember, do not give up - things always get better after a difficult time. The sun always shines again after a rainy day. You are doing an amazing job as a mom and even if no one sees it, God sees it and your child knows it!